PERFORMANCE ANXIETY AND THE FALLEN SEX LIFE

What happens when somebody throws a ball at you suddenly?

Your instinctive reflex action would help you to protect yourself without giving it a thought. Similarly, how good would it have been if sex were an instinctive activity.

If it were an instinctive reflex action, humans wouldn’t engage their brains in other thoughts and focus readily on sex after anxiety.

The idea of calling out for instinctive sex is that “we keep a lot of things in the back of our minds when we should actually be relishing the sexual moments.”

Sex is best enjoyed when your brain is empty— that’s when you just do it— without letting anything intrude it.

But performance anxiety is one of the famous intruders which has deteriorated a lot of sex lives. The only reason is— we allow these thoughts to grow and grow until they prove detrimental. Here’s what we think before lovemaking.

The fear of underperformance.

It’s one of the customary anxiety where one or both the parties understate their capabilities. The fear of underperformance is understandable among the couples who haven’t had sex before the sessions.

It’s also a typical symptom in men who can’t get their shaft up due to sexual disorders such as erectile dysfunction.

In some of the cases, the inexperienced partners feel that they won’t be able to satisfy their experienced halves.

Body image anxiety.

Sex is feeling confident and motivated about your physical self. A lot of couples feel negative about their physical shape.

They harbor the fear that their partners may not appreciate the body type, and they’d finish with the unfulfilled expectations.

The anxiety may continue to grow into depression if your partner values your body more than your personality.

Although it’s a popular thought which affects sex life, it’s pretty easy to tame because you are the owner of your body, and you may mold it as per your requirement.

Small-Shaft anxiety.

It’s a matter of debate whether the size of the penis writes the sexual experiences for women; however, a lot of men take it quite literally without even being a part of the debate.

The men with the smaller penis have a notion that they may not satisfy their women as they’d like to.

The continuous musing may develop the fear that “their women would dump them for the longer rockets.”

And if you consider that your partner would prefer a longer dick for you have a smaller one; you need a new partner more than your partner needs a new one.

Sexual disorder anxiety.

Well, the sexual disorders are way too frequent, and so do the anxieties related to them.

As many men have sensitive penile skin, they ejaculate at minimal stimulation (premature ejaculation)— which sends their partners into the unsatisfying zone.

Furthermore, erectile dysfunction or impotence may instill fear which may either rush them into sex or keep them away from sex.

Similarly, a lot of women suffer from the lack of sexual desire where they don’t enjoy the sexual experience but are a part of it.

It’s the type of anxiety which is here to stay, and it may never resolve until you take requisite steps to get over it.

Fear of painful sex.

The respondents who haven’t been a part of sex may fear that it brings the pain.

Women feel that vaginal penetration would hurt and bleed them, and on the other hand, men suspect that the penetration friction would cause pain in the penis.

The women who fear sex may aggravate their conditions by not releasing vaginal lubricant. Without vaginal lubrication, the session will literally be painful which may further magnify their anxiety for the next session.

I know that sex can’t be an instinctive act where you get to “obliterate everything in your brain,” and “just do it;” however, you can train your brain to “not give a damn to anxiety” by several methods including exercises, therapies, and finding your partner at the common juncture.

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