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Erectile Dysfunction New Relationship

erectile dysfunction new relationship

What is erectile dysfunction?

ED means an inability to get a good enough erection to achieve satisfactory intercourse. It affects men of all different ages and occurs for a variety of reasons, both physical and psychological, such anxiety, stress, hormonal problems, surgery and depression. Occasional ED isn't uncommon either.

What is erectile dysfunction when with a partner?

Erectile dysfunction (ED), when you are unable to get or keep an erection suitable for sexual intercourse or another chosen sexual activity, is a common problem for many men. It may be due to physical causes (in the body), psychological causes (in the mind) or a mixture of both (see our factsheet ‘Erectile dysfunction’).

New relationship and Erectile dysfunction.

Really need advice on starting a relationship with a man with ED. Been dating a lovely man for a month and have had two failed attempts to make love. I have to admit I felt awful about myself when I failed to turn him on the first time but he reassured me that it wasn't because he didn't find me attractive. Tried again and the same, He was hard before we got totally undressed but shrunk when it got to doing it.

I felt confused and asked him what was the problem. He said his ex had left him with this problem. They were together from young and have 3 children. He said she demanded sex or he would have to pack his bags putting pressure on him with no affection or foreplay. She cheated too and now has a friend with benefits and made it clear its sex only. So seems something was up with their sex life. But I am in no place to delve or judge what I don't know about or should.

I don't know how I can help him. If its psychological. I know ex partners can be a pain but his has left him with erection problems.

I'm really disappointed because I have held off dating for a year to sort myself out and now have met a lovely man but unable to have sex.

Most advice I to not put pressure on sex and it seems mostly in established relationships. We only see each other one night a week due to kids.

Some Important things couples can do to safeguard their relationship from ED

1. Find out the cause

By knowing as much as you can about ED, you can prevent it from ruining your relationship. Denise says that the first thing that you should do is to recognise what is causing the ED:

"Once you have got that sorted out then you can actually know what you're dealing with so you have a better idea of how to manage the issue within your relationship."

2. Don't take it personally

Denise says that a lot of women will actually say, "I think he has gone off me because he can't get an erection or he is having an affair." When in actual fact, a lot of men that suffer with ED will become very anxious about letting their partners down and rather than actually be anxious and/or embarrassed then they will withdraw from sex.

3. Keep communication lines open

ED can often cause trouble in a relationship, not because of the lack of sex but because of the lack of communication.

"If ED doesn't get talked about, it can have quite a detrimental effect on the man's confidence and how he sees himself. It may cause him to withdraw from intimacy in a relationship and that in itself can go on to cause problems because the couple won't be as close. When communication goes out the window then obviously they think to themselves that there's more of a problem than there actually is."

4. Approach the subject with care

Keep in mind that ED isn't anyone's fault. Don't put pressure on your partner and be as supportive as possible.

"As a woman, if you notice your partner is struggling or sex isn't happening as much as you would like it to, or as often as it has happened, then say 'I notice we aren't making love as often as we used to and I am a bit concerned about that and what about you? I miss closeness'."

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